Bertie and Gandhi: A Love Affair
by MrSwagston
Summary: The untold love affair between Albert Einstein and Mahatma Gandhi.
1. Chapter 1

**Bertie and Gandhi: A romance**

After having completed his works on relativity and quantum mechanics, Albert Einstein needed a break. He had had enough of physics and decided to travel to India for a little fun.

Einstein was fascinated by this foreign country. He visited many places far and wide, enjoying the best of holidays.

One day, he noticed a mass of Indians approaching in a street. He discovered it was a peaceful demonstration against injustice. In the midst of orange robes, Einstein witnessed Gandhi, their spiritual leader. Einstein couldn't help but notice his flamboyant, white robe and his fiery, orange skin. He felt strangely hot inside. He was confused: he was a married man, yet he was not unmoved by the Father's charms. What is happening to me, thought Einstein. Am I turning...?

When Gandhi was close to him, he pulled him apart. The Mahatma instantly recognized the famous physicist: "Namaste, Albert."

"Gandhi, I must talk to you."

Gandhi was being tugged at by fellow Indians. "Worry not, my Lamb. Come and see me tonight at my village hut."

The night came, and with it Albert at Gandhi's residence. When he opened the door, Einstein couldn't help but notice Gandhi's tight garments, delicately showing his body. Einstein went straight to the point: "Gandhi... I must tell you how I feel." He thought a moment. "If you were the sin(x)² to my cos(x)², then together, we'd make one."

Gandhi chuckled. He liked being picked up by boys. "Does this mean what I think it means, Bertie?"

"Yes... and that dress would look even better dropping towards the floor at 9.8 m.s-1."

"Oh, you _are _the chutney to my samosa."

Gandhi let his sherwani slip to the floor, and leapt towards Einstein. Their tongues intertwined and locked while Gandhi rubbed Einstein's moisture and heat seeking venomous python of love. Gandhi pressed more and more on Einstein, until Einstein could wait no longer. "Oh Mahat, violate me like the British violate your rights". And by Vishnu, he did. Gandhi savagely tore Einstein's clothes, and, being satisfied to see Einstein's Love Ladle fully erect, penetrated him with such vigour that they both reached their peak quickly and simultaneously.

Einstein lay next to Gandhi, their arms sleepily around each other. They glistened from sweat and semen, but they didn't care. They were happy and, knew that many more sulphurous episodes were to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bertie and Gandhi: A Romance**

**Chapter 2**

Albert Einstein was perfectly happy with his life now – he lived in an exotic country with an exotic man, in every sense of the word. For Einstein and Gandhi's affair wasn't a onetime experience. On the contrary, whenever Gandhi wasn't preaching peace or Einstein wasn't working on his papers, the two mischiefs would frickle frackle at length.

However, Gandhi's knowledge of the homosexual kamasutra proved to be too much for Einstein. Indeed, after having performed the "Spank Me Maybe", "Vibrating P", "The Gladiator's War Hammer" and other delirious positions, Einstein's back end was quite literally thrashed. Although this gave him much pleasure, it stopped him from walking entirely. He decided to consult Gandhi for help: "Gandhi, our rollicking adventures prevent me from walking, what should I do? "

Gandhi stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I know of an old method to heal this type of trauma, but it involves delicate rituals known only to Hindu monks."

"I don't care; take me to them."

They travelled to Nepal in a rustic caravan, deep in the Himalayas to an ancient temple. They were greeted by a monk, poorly dressed despite the temperature. Recognizing Gandhi, he led them to the temple's Alpha-monk, known as "Supa Hot Fire". "Greetings, Mohandas. What brings you to my domain?" he smiled.

"Supa Hot Fire, we need your help. My lovy-dovy Bertie is suffering from his Lotus Flower. I think you might know how to cure him."

"Indeed, but it will involve mystical processes. Is he ready?"

Gandhi winked: "Yes. I have prepared him for this... in a way."

Supa Hot Fire started humming, then chanting. Clouds started forming around them. The monk was in a trance until his eyes opened and said: "Boom, bam, bop. Badababop, pow."

Einstein felt suddenly sucked into a colourful vortex. He landed in a mysterious place, followed by Gandhi. The land was covered in clouds and lighted by a purple sun. In front of him, he saw a four-handed figure. Bertie was taken aback. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I am Vishnu, God of stability. If you are here, then..."

Einstein didn't hear him finish as he was entranced by Vishnu's arms. He could only wonder at the possibilities. Vishnu smiled comfortingly for a reason unknown to Einstein and, as he went to pat him on the shoulder, the physicist stumbled on his robe and his crotch landed on Vishnu's hand. They all froze, trying to figure out what this meant. Vishnu, intrigued by this new experience, tightened his grip. Einstein arched back in pleasure. Gandhi was already naked and oiled. Vishnu set out his arms to work on both Gandhi and Einstein, the two of them slowly being probed and stroked. However, the two men weren't going to stay selfish. No, they too approached Vishnu, and thus started a savage and carnal feast of passionate merrymaking.

They tried every position in the book, and more. Vishnu tried the "Magic Mountain" on both on them, a wild DP for both Einstein and Gandhi as, to their surprise, Vishnu had more than 4 "limbs". But the two mortals gave Vishnu a run for his money, penetrating him like wild and untamed animals. Vishnu could also transform into a variety of avatars, the man-lion being everyone's favourite. He clawed at them while doing it doggy-style. They were all like the Ganges River: wet, dirty and constantly moving. Vishnu's supernatural and cosmic energy sent everyone flying when he climaxed, his blue and sparkly semen raining down on the exhausted men.

Panting, Einstein then realized this intense session cured him. Vishnu bade them farewell and sent them back to Gandhi's hut. He laughed to himself. What adventures lay ahead, he thought.


End file.
